Step Mother or Monster

The oldest kid in our blended family is biologically mine. So as I am not the Virgin Mary and it wasn’t Immaculate Conception it is safe to assume he has his own bio dad. It’s even more logical to follow that thought through to wonder does he have his own step mother. The answer is yes, however the unfortunate truth is she is truly a wicked step mother.

They dated for a year before I was allowed to meet her. After they moved in together I flat out refused to let my son go over there until I saw more than the side of her head as she sat in the car. Sorry ladies but I’m not in the habit of allowing my son to spend the night with people I don’t know, why should she be different. Also bio dad doesn’t have the best judgment or track record.

The day I met her was interesting to say the least. She said hi and left the room, she’s never said a word to me since. In the past 6 years I’ve been in the room with her over a dozen times and she’s not once acknowledged my presence. This is actually impressive considering I’m usually the loudest person in the room. I can handle being ignored, but she treats my son the same way. Over the years she has completely isolated bio dad from the world. He has no contact with his family and see’s my son about twice a year (yes we live in the same town).

I have to say from a bio mom’s stand point there is part of me who doesn’t mind her lack of interest in my son's life. When I heard she would be a permanent part of our life I did have some irrational fears. What if she wanted to convince bio dad to try to have my son live with them permanently? What if she’s a better mom? What if my son likes her better? Hey, I said they were irrational fears! Silly me.

So now here I am a step mother of my own. I’ve done some reflecting on how or if having a wicked step mom has impacted the kind of step parent I am. I’d truly say no. It takes a screwed up kind of person to do the things she’s done and I am so much better than that. The sad part is I feel sorry for her; she has missed out on getting to know an amazing kid. For the most part we’ve forgotten that she exists and now that my son is older we jokingly refer to her as the wicked step mom (well he thinks we’re joking ).